Rumpelstiltskin (1995)

Here's my impression of Rumpelstiltskin: "Oh wow, Im Rumpelstiltskin, I think Im smart and clever like Leprechaun, Im so funny, Im SO going to get a series!!" Now heres a one word review of Rumpelstiltskin in a Russian accent: "Terrible." Lame attempt to recapture the success of the Leprechaun series, lacking the humor, over the top gore, and campy acting that made the mean greenie a classic. The film blew most of its budget on a semi used in an overextended chase sequence, leaving them with no other option but to hire D-grade actors and cheap FX. There are tons of laughable (but not funny) scenes, my favorite always being how Rumpelstiltskin has magical powers, but he still cleverly sneaks through doors and windows. The film never generates any scares or suspense, and isnt even the fun excuse for a gorefest it should have been. My wife wont let me finish the review without adding that "At least Rumpelstiltskins makeup was pretty kewl." I cant get through this review without demeaning the film or adding more sarcasm, so I am just going to leave it as a pass and move on with my life.

Rating: 4/10.
Gore: 5/10.

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  1. I've never seen Rumpelstiltskin, but that word always makes me laugh. Reminds me of Rumpled Foreskin...

  2. Haha. I just reviewed this one last week and I totally agree. I wanted to punch the lead character's friend. Side note: I googled the guy that stars as Sir Rumpel of Stiltskin and he's just as ugly as the character he played.

  3. P.S. I'm almost done with the interview!

  4. Totally man Im right there with you Aaron, I saw the review and thought to myself "Man time to dust that one off.." I was wrong, and I apologized to myself for making me watch it. And Johnny, I have the same association deeply ingrained in my soul =D