Rumpelstiltskin (1995)

Here's my impression of Rumpelstiltskin: "Oh wow, Im Rumpelstiltskin, I think Im smart and clever like Leprechaun, Im so funny, Im SO going to get a series!!" Now heres a one word review of Rumpelstiltskin in a Russian accent: "Terrible." Lame attempt to recapture the success of the Leprechaun series, lacking the humor, over the top gore, and campy acting that made the mean greenie a classic. The film blew most of its budget on a semi used in an overextended chase sequence, leaving them with no other option but to hire D-grade actors and cheap FX. There are tons of laughable (but not funny) scenes, my favorite always being how Rumpelstiltskin has magical powers, but he still cleverly sneaks through doors and windows. The film never generates any scares or suspense, and isnt even the fun excuse for a gorefest it should have been. My wife wont let me finish the review without adding that "At least Rumpelstiltskins makeup was pretty kewl." I cant get through this review without demeaning the film or adding more sarcasm, so I am just going to leave it as a pass and move on with my life.

Rating: 4/10.
Gore: 5/10.