Friday, July 17, 2009

Troll 2 (1990)

Troll 2 is one of the single greatest films ever made, in that it is pure, unadulterated filmmaking with absolutely no discernment for acting, dialogue, plot, logic, or any of the other bothersome ingredients that normally plague a director. There are limitless examples of just how awesome this film is, but I have such a huge love for the film that I hate ever spoiling any of the fun for anyone else. Every viewer needs to go into this one with absolutely no warning. If you can only imagine the worst spoken dialogue imaginable, played out like a terrible high school play using only the very worst costumes conceivable. Now, the first question ever one asks is "Isnt this a continuation of the first Troll?" No. Not even close. In an expected twist of fate, the Italians jumped on the Troll title and churned out this direct to VHS travesty, when in fact there arent even any trolls in the film (as they are referred to as goblins). I want so desperately to plaster the review with favorite moments, but just do yourself a favor and watch the film, or if youve seen it, get out a warm glass of Nilbog milk and watch it again until it cures your hunger pangs. This is one of the most entertaining films ever made, and MUST be seen to believe. A family from the city switches homes with a family from a small rural community, only to find out that the city is inhabited by evil goblins bent on vegetarian lifestyles.. of DOOM!!

Since I refuse to post any clips of the film, here is an equally awesome music video in homage to the best worst film ever made:



Rating: 2/10.
Entertainment: 10/10.
Gore: 5/10.



HorrorBlips: vote it up!

5 comments:

  1. AWESOME WRITE-UP! This is, like, one of my top 5 favorite movies of ALL TIME! I'm glad you're one of those enlightened viewers who understands the fried entertainment GOLD that is Troll 2!

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  2. THE BEST CHEESY DRIVE IN MOVIE OF ALL TIME, IT'S SENSELESS ENTERTIANMENT AND THAT IS WAY IT WORKS IN SO MANY WAYS. TROLL 2 IS A CULT FLICK OF HORRIBLE REALITY YET PERFECT IN SO MANY WAYS.

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  3. PLUS THAT VIDEO YOU POSTED IS GOD AWFUL FUN ENTERTAINMENT I LAUGHED MY FAT ASS OFF...

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  4. I have to give credit for that video to my buddy Johnnie, he showed me that coincidentally this morning and weve been playing it all day, fucking hilarious..

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  5. I copied this off of digital cable some time back to make a dvd of it. I got about 15 minutes in and it was too painful to go any further. I like a good 'bad' movie, but this came nowhere near qualifying for me. I would have just bought that MGM double feature, but I never liked the first TROLL, either.

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