Sunday, August 23, 2009

Rottweiler (2003)

What can you really expect from a film that was re-titled from TERMINATOR DOG? I'll tell you: nothing. At least the alternate title makes the audience aware in advance that they are about to watch a cheap, low-budget knock off with a lame B-movie premise. An escaped convict must make his way through rugged terrain to elude a vicious cyborg hound that is hot on his trail as he makes his way back to the woman that was stolen from him. Who kidnapped and sexed up his girl, you may ask? Thats right, Paul Naschy. Paul Naschy peed in her butt, and now he wants revenge. All of the prerequisites for terribleness are ever-present, including bad acting, worse dubbing, unconvincing puppetry, and the mandatory lame CG. There is only one thing that sets this film apart in a sea of D2DVD crap: a 15m scene of male nudity. Seriously. The lead is washing his clothes in the river, when Rottweiler surprises him and eats his gun (literal, not figurative). He takes off into the mountains with his fun bag slapping between his legs, and (I timed it) remains undressed from 35:03-51:13. Honestly, was that really necessary to further the plot? I dont think I have been unfair here, I will say the film offers a few scenes of decent gore, but considering this was one of Horror great Brian Yuzna's most recent films, it is sure to disappoint. There is, however, one actor that stands out as a diamond in the rough:



Avoid this film with extreme prejudice unless you are a SciFi Channel Original aficionado!

Rating: 5/10.
Gore: 5/10.
Number of views: 2.



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4 comments:

  1. check out my horror movie blog for the latest horror movie news and the occasional creepy treasure
    http://atomicfox.blogspot.com/
    thanks! :)

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  2. Aw, come on Carl, it wasn't THAT bad. I think it's almost so bad it's good. Although Naschy is terribly underused.

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  3. I have to respectfully disagree my Naschy loving friend, I found it to be a tired trial of my patience that was wellllllll deserving of its slot in the SciFi Channel lineup. Nachy was awesome though ;)

    I drank a bottle of wine while watchign Sublime in your honor, somehow it helped me find the words to accurately describe my qualms with that one!

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  4. Haha, I've been wanting to see this one really bad for some reason. Maybe I'll hold off.

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