Saturday, August 22, 2009

Thir13en Ghosts (2001)

If this film couldnt take itself seriously, why should I? Thir13een Ghosts has three things going for it: K, N, and B. The make-up work and gore is the only thing that makes this remake worth revisiting. The characters are all annoying, but none more so than Matthew Lillard playing a pseudo-intellectual ghost hunter and token black chick playing the comic relief. Apparently, no one told Shannon Elizabeth that this wasnt a skin care commercial, but thankfully she and her on-screen brother disappear half-way through the film, only to reappear in the final scene. The film is about a family that inherits their uncle's strange mansion, which turns out to be a machine built to open the gateway to hell once the 13 ghosts imprisoned within its walls are gathered to power the engine. After some surprisingly vicious gore and action sequences in the first act, the film falls into average teenie-horror tedium that is entirely without suspense. The few creepy scenes are built entirely on KNB's make-up work, with no credit due to the acting or directing. The film is a guilty pleasure that only manages to get dusted off every couple of years as a reminder of the failed late 90s, early 2000's attempt to modernize the campy 50s haunt features using current FX and jump scares. Dont expect much.

Rating: 6/10.
Gore: 6/10.
Number of views: 4.



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9 comments:

  1. I hated this movie. Complete disatster.....should have stopped watching after 30 minutes. But no, I was silly and watched the whole thing! Hours of my life I will never get back :)

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  2. Hahah this movie is ridiculous. It's definitely not great, but I enjoy it for the laughs.

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  3. The gore/FX make this one of my favorites, for sure.

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  4. How did Matthew Lillard keep getting work during the late 90s? It's a mystery that still boggles my mind...
    -Billy

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  5. He is was just instantly marketable after SLC Punk and Scream, I actually hoped we would have seen a bigger progression in his acting career where he could have taken on some serious roles that were outside of the goofy character he often fell into.

    I say this only because I truly, truly love SLC Punk, and it ranks as one of the top films that shaped who I was in life. He is a talented guy, but roles like this just destroyed his chances of ever being taken seriously.

    That and Wing Commander blew balls.

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  6. I liked the naked ghost chick in the movie. Definitely do-able for a dead chick! Other than that... 13 Ghosts = MEH! Oh, and I loved SLC Punk and I actually enjoyed Lillard in the Scooby Doo movies (hey, James Gunn wrote those movies, so they at least have SOME cred, right??).

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  7. Thats right, I always forget he played Shaggy, I really need to pick those up too for Horror Baby.. yes thats it, for Horror Baby..

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  8. You've watched this 4 times? Wow.

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  9. Saw it in theaters, saw it just this last time, and the wife prefers low brow Horror so we have seen it together two times in between. Sad, I know..

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