Saturday, September 26, 2009

Amityville 4: The Evil Escapes (1989)

As the heart-warming cover art below suggests, AMITYVILLE 4 is about a family torn by the loss of their father, who tries to piece their lives back together by moving in with their grandmother on the California coast. Oh, and their aunt sent them a haunted lamp from the Amity house, so bad PG-13 shit starts happening, then its over. This is what happens when the Lifetime channel makes a Horror film, though it should have been called (brace yourselves for this clever pun) "THE AMITYVILLE BORE." Everything about the production screams made-for-TV, and while there are a few moments that promise some sweet gore, they are dispelled before anything close to awesome happens. Its not fair to have the ugliest kid ever born engage a chainsaw by mistake and then NOT have him grind grandma's face off or commit seppuku?? This film also marks the first entry in the series that takes some random-ass item from the original house then relocates it, defying all logic as to why any of the films would be titled "AMITYVILLE" when none of the films up until the remake take place in the town. The greatest moment in this one is when the family parakeet goes missing and turns up dead in the toaster oven, and then everyone almost barfs when they see it. This easily ranks as the worst entry in the series, but there will still be those of us that force themselves to maintain their integrity and rewatch every film in the series despite the utter failures. If that is not you, avoid.

Rating: 4/10.
Gore: 4/10.
Number of views: 3.



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2 comments:

  1. A haunted lamp? Oh Christ, what's next? A haunted CLOCK? A haunted MIRROR? Oh, I know! Maybe a haunted DOLLHOUSE? Ha ha ha.

    Oh....riiiiight.

    --J/Metro

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  2. We all only wish you were joking.. Im trying to remember if I have AMITY 5 THE CURSE anywhere, or if it even exists

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