Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Halloween: Resurrection (2002)

AKA "AMERICAN (PUMPKIN) PIE". Hi, my name is plot. Have we met? What did it have to take to bring the HALLOWEEN series this low? Were we as the collective fans so unappreciative and unresponsive to each of the previous sequels that the filmmakers had to go and create the most bland, generic teen Horror film imaginable by slapping on the HALLOWEEN label while trying to tap into the hip new wave of technology and pop culture? RESURRECTION finds a group of teens competing on a TV reality show where they have to investigate the Myers house on live webcams, when Michael decides to return home for the holidays. After a lackluster beginning, the film starts off with an entirely new cast and story arch that has absolutely nothing to do with any of the other films in the series. Its tough to pick out the worst actor with so many excellent choices, but Busta Rhymes really steps up his game in what may be the most over the top and ridiculous performance in the entire series. If the genius producers hadn't bribed Moustapha Akkad for the Myers name, this would have been a forgettable direct to DVD slasher bore, but it will now live on in infamy as being one of the worst sequels of all time. If everything else weren't bad enough, RESURRECTION takes the hate up another notch to absolutely seal the deal by offering the single worst send off of any major character in any movie ever made. Ever. Screw being objective for once. Thanks for nothing.

Rating: 5/10.
Gore: 4/10.
Number of views: 7.

*PS - I just realized where I had seen the name Rick Rosenthal (director of RESURRECTION) before. He also directed HALLOWEEN 2, which I also find to be a royal bore. Double fail.



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15 comments:

  1. How about the line "Trick or treat, motha fucka!" as Busta "busts" some Myers ass with his martial art skill?! I saw this in the theater and I agree, this is quite possibly one of the worst sequels of all time, and an embarrassment to the Halloween franchise.

    I should mention, that the whole reality show thing was also a way for them to cash in on the success of The Blair Witch Project...they failed miserably. And I fucking hate Tyra Banks with all my heart!

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  2. Oh man. Sadly, this was the first Halloween movie I actually saw in theatres. Yeah it completely sucks, but I've had time to get over it. And now, I just enjoy it in a so-bad-it's-good sort of way. Busta Rhymes kung fooing Michael? I'm not sure how else I'm supposed to react except with a laugh.

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  3. You've seen it seven times?? Christ!

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  4. I am "almost" ashamed to say that I own this. But, like some of the rest of my horror collection, I own it because it's a movie under the Halloween franchise. That said, I'd like to take a crap on it everytime I see the box in my collection.

    I can't believe that Jamie Lee ever agreed to do this stupid piece of blasphemy. Especially with Busta going all ninja on Michael in the script, a whole character roster of obnoxious sterotypes and the use of the...........internet?!?! WTF? Oh how "Scream Meets Fear Dot Com" of them. We just couldn't leave popular culture out of the series, eh? No, see, Curse of set them up for this. They used a whole "modern collegeish" atmosphere for that one, it was only a matter of time before they descended into the "new horror" hell we all live in, today.

    Score lacks any horror worthiness, cast is crap on toast, Michael is RUNNING in the movie(WTF?!), and adding pop culture makes me wanna yak.

    The only thing I laughed at in the whole movie was the blond, annoying, hobag's head rolling down the stairs to flop, jaw agape onto the floor in front of her fellow webcammers. YAY! Now cut off all their heads and let's get out of here! I wanted absolutely NO ONE in this movie to survive.........not even the damned crew.

    I'm sorry, was that horrible of me?:)

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  5. My favorite scene in the entire film is Busta trying to persuade whoever the hell that chick is to stay on the show, where he gives the least convincing performance Ive ever seen. Is it just the fact that this is a HALLOWEEN film that we all despise it so much though, or would have have hated it equally if it had been any other nameless slasher?

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  6. So much failed, but I have a theory about how it could have at least ended on a "whoa" note:

    The film should have started with the whole reality crap, with Michael hiding in his old house and dealing with the invasion of peeps. Once they are all dead and he is on his way to the hospital, someone mentions that his sister is locked up there, too, in the loony bin.

    Then the last 1/3 of the film is the Laurie/Michael hospital stuff. On the roof, she falls. He goes down and when he gets to the bottom Laurie is gone, only an impression where she impacted the grass, ala the end of part 1. End of film.

    Would have been a great ending then, to what is probably the last flick in the original timeline.

    Ah well...

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  7. Nice, my alternate storyline would have been very similar, with Laurie living in the Myers house, waiting for Michael to come back and being all sorts of crazy. Meanwhile, the kids are all sent to Smith's Grove to do their investigating, where it turns out the patients were tortured and given electroshock etc, driving Michaels madness even further. Eventually, Laurie ends up in the hospital for a final face off where both characters are killed.

    Would work minus the whole "RESURRECTION" title.

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  8. Nice, as well. Anything would be better, I suppose! hahahaha

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  9. I hate this movie a lot. So every Halloween movie is him chasing after a family member, except this one (not including the beginning). Where the fuck is Josh Hartnett's character from H20? I also thought it was funny that they couldn't even get Britney Murphy (hip actress at the time, the girl from 8 Mile) so they got a girl who looked exactly like her.

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  10. It isn't great by any stretch, but it was infinitely better than that shit with the druids and that 'tall, dark & silver boot' guy intro'd in part 5.

    The real annoyance with this film for me is the scene where Busta is in his hotel. He's watching the Shaw Brothers movie, THE DUEL (1971) and says how much he enjoys watching Hwang Jang Lee. Well, Hwang Jang Lee isn't even in this movie. To make it even more aggravating, on the commentary director Rosenthal says he asked Busta about who Hwang was in case there was a HK kung fu star he wasn't aware of. Busta says he just made the name up(?!?!?!?!?)

    Sorry to go off on a tangent there, but I did find some interest in this film and I must say, Carl, HALLOWEEN 2 (1981) is my fave of the series, even more than the original, but only slightly. Probably cause it was the first film of the series I ever saw. I didn't see the original until 1983 and it is (along with part 2) one of a scant few horror films that still gets under my skin.

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  11. Ohhhh man that only makes the hotel scene that much worse, I always wondered whether that scene was a legitimate addition that Busta insisted on as a fan of martial arts films perhaps, but that solidifies it as the worst scene in the film

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  12. Oh and Re: Halloween 2, no one can blame you on that one, we all have certain attachments that are completely based on nostalgic appreciation. My guiltiest pleasure is Jaws 4, which I remember being my first and favorite Horror film growing up. I still love it to death, even though it may be the worst and most illogical film ever made.

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  13. THE DUEL wasn't even available legitimately at the time so I assume the footage came from one of the bootlegs floating around. The Weinsteins own the rights to it for North America, I think. It was Moustapha's son who was responsible for the idea of using Busta Rhymes in the film.

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  14. This movie is HORRIBLE. I'm not sure if this one or part 5 are the worst in the original franchise. The only good parts of the film are the first 15 minutes. Hell, the lead girl had to get a stunt screamer since she couldn't scream her parts. WHAT? And don't get me started on Busta Rhymes. Geez...

    HALLOWEEN RESURRECTION: The reason we got a remake to begin with.

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  15. Are you kidding me, that wasnt even that chicks real scream?? Ugh, down the totem pole you go, RESURRECTION..

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