Monday, December 21, 2009

Christmas Season Massacre (2001)

This is below bad. An absolute mockery of filmmaking. Thankfully, CHRISTMAS SEASON MASSACRE does offer a few gruesome gore scenes and some absurd humor that almost makes the 55m run time worth sitting through. A group of old high school friends get together to celebrate the holidays, but their festivities are cut short when Oneshoe McGroo, the eye patch-clad teen they had tormented in high school, returns to exact his revenge. What results is a grueling hour of the absolute worst acting imaginable padded out with a pointless series of unrelated events that is supposed to constitute a plot. Many characters are killed before they are even introduced, and those that do have names garner no sympathy from the audience as they get drunk and act a fool. There are very few moments that didn't suck in the entire film, two of which involved uninspired gore consisting of nothing more than McGroo rifling through pig intestines, and the other two being hilarious moments where a little pirate flag pops up signaling impending doom for whichever two idiots are on screen. With next to nothing to do with Christmas, one would be hard pressed to find anything worth watching in this one. Anyone could make this film, there is no skill in any aspect of the filmmaking, and it is an unforgivably bad entry even for B-movie Horror.

Rating: 1/10.
Gore: 6/10.
Number of views: 1.



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4 comments:

  1. Jeez man...you're really finding the bottom of the barrel Christmas films, aren't you?! As soon as I read 55 minute runtime, I know exactly the type of film it is!

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  2. It was that god damned SILENT NIGHT, GORY NIGHT triple feature that had all three of these films. I had wanted to see it for years, but man did it ever suck the proverbial balls

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  3. Last year, the crew decided that with enough eggnog, this is the funniest holiday movie ever....at least that is what we said when we watched it.....funny, no one wanted to watch it again....I think I need to get more rum :D

    Cheers!

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  4. I feel vindicated in skipping this movie from the set now. Damn, I sure as hell could not have taken something like that after 'Psycho Santa' and 'Satan Claus.'

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