Sunday, December 20, 2009

Psycho Santa (2003)

How many times do I have to tell people, strippers do not make good actresses. PSYCHO SANTA is another abysmal $0 budget Horrorbortion that isn't worth the plastic it's coded on. No fan should be subjected to a movie this bad, but in all of its terrible glory, it does manage to be a slight improvement over SATAN CLAUS. A young couple on their way to a Christmas party recall the tale of a psychotic Santa that kills people. Later, he kills people. Plot handled. Director Peter Kier has at least some grasp on what visual storytelling and lighting should look like, but still manages to fail at both. Poor scripting, worse acting, but the one thing he knows will sell a few copies is having half the cast take their clothes off. It is easy to say that many of the film's failings were due to its non-existent budget, but it is obvious that millions of dollars couldn't have saved it. There is a reason that people return to Christmas classics like BLACK CHRISTMAS, SILENT NIGHT DEADLY NIGHT, and CHRISTMAS EVIL year after year; it's because they're good. Don't waste your time here.

Rating: 2/10.
Gore: 3/10.
Number of views: 1.



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7 comments:

  1. Great, sounds swell. I have this one on the docket for sometime next week, but after you and Alec over @ Mondo Bizarro both slammed these in what seems like a credible and deserving manner, I sorta feel like I oughtta just junk the double feature I have of this and SATAN CLAWS and save the eye-strain. :)

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  2. Ive been wanting to see these for years because I really do have a sick obsession with holiday Horror, but there isnt any fun to be had in either of them. Its sad, really. How can you fuck up a god damned killer santa claus movie? Really?

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  3. Apparently you just have to do what these folks have done to fuck up a movie. Sorry you were subjected to them!

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  4. I'll probably see both of them eventually, out of morbid curiosity.

    Also, is Psycho Santa a spin off of Psycho Dad from Married With Children?

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  5. I think its safe to assume so Matt lol..

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  6. Where do you find this stuff?! You always amaze me with the breadth of your B-Movie knowledge.

    JM

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  7. I am a connoisseur of fine garbage when it comes to holiday horror, but I think I stumbled upon these ones when the DVD was first announced, I hadnt heard of them previous to that but somewhere along the line I read a positive review for Christmas Season Massacre. Ive been reading Horror sites for years and years scouring the web for new Horror Ive never heard of before, which is why I started this site to give back and help other like minded fans discover films they wouldnt have known about otherwise.

    I would love to hear your guys' opinions on both of these killer Santa flicks JM and Billy, they might even be too terrible for you guys =D

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