Thursday, December 17, 2009

Puppet Master Vs Demonic Toys (2004)

There is no excuse for how terrible this film is. We all accept the Full Moon flicks as being often cheesy, always low-budget, but above all well-crafted and entertaining entries in the B-movie canon, but unfortunately SyFy Channel got their corrupting hands on the rights to this one in an attempt to strip the series from what little dignity it had left. The puppets and toys in PMvDT are laughably cheap plastic imitations of the amazing hand-carved and frightening creatures in the original film series. They lack the character and personality that the wooden dolls were given due to inferior puppetry and carelessly crafted designs. They also receive some much (un)needed upgrades for the final (only) battle in this anti-climactic mess. As far as the acting and dialogue goes, it feels as if the actors think that they are hamming it up in a campy B-movie classic, but really the whole display comes off as amateur and sickeningly over-the-top. This is unmistakably Corey Feldman's worst film role, and despite the script's failed attempts at humor, he does get the audience laughing. It's too bad it is at his own expense. PMvDT fails on every low-budget TV movie level it possibly can, and will only serve to upset if not infuriate fans of either series. It does not even make for a guilty pleasure on a late night with friends. It is so bad it's bad, not so bad it's good. I can go on, but what's the point, really. The evil CEO of a large toy manufacturer makes a pact with a demon to possess all of the toys that are scheduled to be sold to boys and girls around the world during Christmas in exchange for unimaginable power. It is up to Andre Toulon's last surviving relative to resurrect Toulon's living puppets in order to battle the demonic toys that aim to rule the world! Fail.

Rating: 3/10.
Number of views: 3.



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7 comments:

  1. As an old school fan, I was so thrilled to finally see these two franchises go head-to-head on the small screen. All of that excitement was vanquished within the first 5 minutes while watching Feldman act the fool. I agree it's his worst performance to date, right up there with Bordello of Blood, but this film is pure excrement. Not cheesy...I mean absolute s***.

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  2. Corey Feldman in an Einstein wig is your first scene of terribleness, but not the last.

    In case it is not clear, I am not a fan-boy of either series, nor am I that knowledgeable of them. My point is that my opinion is based solely on the actual film and nothing else.

    This movie sucks so hard and I wish that it would die. I said in my Netflix review that it fails in every regard and would probably even be a bad frisbee. It is so terrible that it would manage to even do that!

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  3. This movie has always looked like poop to me and I have, as such, avoided it.

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  4. It's hard to describe how terrible this movie is, but you did it. Well done.

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  5. It really would make a shitty Frisbee, I mean what kind of Frisbee has a hole in the middle except for those shitty ones with the holes in the middle that you could never get to fly worth jack?

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  6. The frog queen is a Huge Full Moon fan. So happy to see this come out and then....could not finish it. It made me sad to watch it.....and then angry, I had to turn it off. Thanks for letting me know that I didn't miss anything!

    Cheers!

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  7. Wait, I do have one positive thing to say about it. It makes "Sabertooth" no longer the worst movie on Vanessa Angel's resume post 'Weird Science.' Hurray!

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