Thursday, January 14, 2010

The Boneyard (1990)

THE BONEYARD is an odd little 90s creature feature set in a county morgue. A pair of detectives bring in their psychic friend to see if she can lay hands on three child victims that were recently murdered in order to determine the cause of their deaths. Instead, they find out that the corpses are actually devilish imps that were playing possum to avoid detection when the creeps spring back to life and go on a murderous spree throughout the building! The film is extremely slow paced, with next to nothing happening until the half-way point. Even then, there are awesome spurts of energy that only tapper off again due to pacing struggles. These moments are that much more rewarding to the patient viewer, since the creatures are really chilling. The skeletal demons run through the bowels of the morgue and rip everything up with razor claws and teeth, and are made even more frightening in that they are actually played by little children. Infection spread by the beings also creates two other giant monsters (including a mutant poodle!) with surprisingly cool designs and puppetry for the low budget. Outside of the pacing struggles, the film also suffers from a shallow script that lacks any character development and never transcends the stock B-movie plotting. Only Phyllis Diller stands out with another hilarious performance, while the rest of the cast are empty shells. There is enough humor and gore to keep this one moving, and it is a creepy little flick that is worth a view!

Rating: 5/10.
Entertainment: 7/10.
Gore: 6/10.
Number of views: 3.



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3 comments:

  1. I think you told me about this one a while ago. I might have to add it to my Netflix queue when I'm not such a broke-ass anymore.

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  2. Interesting... Might add it to the queue and hope it pops up in the Instant Viewing thing.

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  3. A-ha! I agree with every word of your review. The special effects are actually decent. It's too bad that everything else sucks.

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