Thursday, June 10, 2010

Monster Dog (1985)

A group of rock 'n rollers end up dead meat when they run across a mutant beast on the road home to their next show, but they soon find out that the monster may actually be walking among them! Alice Cooper leads this awful mess of a monster movie, which can't decide if it is a killer animal flick, a werewolf tale, or a ghost story. Its convenient plot seems like nothing more than a poor excuse to throw Cooper on stage in a few cheesy music video moments. MONSTER DOG'S hand-puppet monster is likewise a laughable joke, but thankfully it is kept shrouded in the fog for the majority of the film. The only shot that is even worth mentioning in the entire picture is a shotgun blast that cleaves a guy's skull in two, but other than that this is a trashy creature-feature out of Spain that can easily be missed.

Rating: 5/10.
Number of views: 1.

If you liked MONSTER DOG, check out:
HOWLING 5, DEVIL DOG, THE BEAST MUST DIE.



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8 comments:

  1. Carl - Is this out on DVD? I remember wanting to see it when I was younger and saw the weird VHS box with a cartoonish Cooper turning into...uh...something with fangs. Guess that's the Monster Dog. I also guess I won't acquire any debt to obtain it either after reading this review.

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  2. The only DVD release I know of is a piss poor VHS rip, which is what I saw it on from Netflix. If you have Netflix, it might be worth putting out of its own misery to quench your years of longing lol..

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  3. I warned you, Carl. I warn you a lot and you never seem to listen. It's a wonder why I bother sometimes. :-)

    Seriously though, this is a pretty crappy film. It's notable for having three musical numbers by Alice Cooper that don't appear anywhere else (mostly a blessing). At the same time, the Netflix version is Dubbed- even including Cooper.

    It's about as jarring as hearing Joaquin Phoenix do his Johnny Cash voice and then hearing Cash himself sing in the credits.

    Seriously, why dub Alice Cooper? Was the production company too cheap to have him come in and re-dub his lines Jackie Chan-style? Lame.

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  4. I found that shit to be utterly hilarious, it almost seemed like they didnt dub him initially, then it cut in about 15m in? I couldnt NOT rent a film called MONSTER DOG, not after buying a film called TERMINATOR DOG lol.. I paid dearly though, but I do see how Cooper fans would still drool over this one. "Sometimes Im... James Bond... Sometimes I'm.. Billy the Kid.."

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  5. 'Terminator Dog' eh? You've piqued my bullshit senses now, Carl.

    I assume that you mean this movie: http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3104/3152583999_1456247a83.jpg

    I'll have to find that now. After all, I've already seen a film about a vampire dog (Zoltan: Hound of Dracula), a possessed dog (Devil Dog) and a racist dog (White Dog). I'll have to put that one alongside 'Man's Best Friend' and 'Rottweiler.'

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  6. Upon further inspection, I can see that 'T.D.' is just an alternate title for 'Rottweiler.' My bad.

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  7. Its true, TD just sounds so much more awesome! Everyone at work gives me shit to this day for owning it

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  8. I have a copy of 'Shaolin Dolemite.' I'm not going to judge you.

    Plus, if your disc has that cover I found, I can't blame you one bit for getting it.

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