Thursday, February 10, 2011

Conan the Destroyer (1984)

Conan the Barbarian returns to aid a young princess in the quest to fulfill her destiny, which puts him face to face with a number of perilous tasks and ruthless enemies along the way. In CONAN THE DESTROYER, our epic hero is reduced to a mere shell of his former self in a weak story that would have been better suited for the comic books. Schwarzenegger is fed a number of ridiculous lines that crossover from being comical to laughable. He is joined by a colorful band of warriors that fight alongside him, but the main element that this sequel lacks is a strong central villain to serve as its focus. Without a Thulsa Doom for Conan to conquer, the plot wanders aimlessly through various castles and dungeons with no real direction or purpose. Wilt Chamberlain, Grace Jones, and Olivia d'Abo deliver adequate performances, but the sense of camaraderie that existed in the previously film simply isn't there. Richard Fleischer does deliver a strong visual style and a number of impressive sets, two of the only characteristics that are carried over from the original. As sword-and-sorcery pictures go, CONAN THE DESTROYER has enough might and magic to please most genre fans, but the empty plotting leaves much to be desired.

Rating: 7/10.

7 comments:

  1. Definatly the worst of the two. The first was way better even though it was a mix of Robert E. Howards stories. I hope the new remake out this year will raise spirits.

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  2. Honestly, I prefer to watch the sequel. It's not better, but it is more like the crazy, mixed-up adventure you get from most Howard tales.

    It's nothing against the original- it's awesome and a classic- but I like the silliness here. Besides, more drunk Ahnuld is always a good thing!

    My favorite part: the fact that the most famous womanizer of all time is here as a guy whose sole job is to protect a teenage girl's virginity! They had to have planned that, right?

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  3. I sword I had seen this one growing up, but I didnt recognize anything in the film at all, except the girl giving the statue a horn. I loved some of the set pieces, like the fire shrine and the mirror room, but the plot felt as disjointed here as it did in DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS! =D

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  4. gar, this movie was a turd. compared to the first. hollywood stuck it's finger into and came out like i said... a turd!

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  5. Ahnuld vs. Andre the Giant. What else do I have to say?

    Seriously, this movie is just silly and fun. Don't be hating on it so much.

    It's not 'Lawrence of Arabia' or anything. It's just Conan killing cultists and monsters.

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  6. I liked this one a lot. I got to see it in the theater and didn't mind the lack of seriousness at all. I only wish I still had that CONAN THE DESTROYER movie poster magazine. Lots of cool behind the scenes shots in that. The only bit I recall was an overzealous Grace Jones injuring a bunch of the stuntmen from hitting them too hard. And what a great cast, too. Fun stuff and surprisingly bloody for a PG movie.

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  7. The film looks good and has its fun moments, but as stories go it is a large step down from the original. The battle in the mirrored room wins out over everything else for me.

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