Sunday, August 14, 2011

Birdemic (2010)

James Nguyen, the self-proclaimed "Master of Romantic Thrillers," delivers the most shocking(ly hilarious) creature feature of all-time! The residents of Half Moon Bay are inexplicably attacked by a pack of bloodthirsty birds, and it is up to a software salesman and his fashion model girlfriend to defeat the birds and save the day! BIRDEMIC is perfectly terrible in every way. Not since the days of Ed Wood has a filmmaker shown more inadequacy or more unachievable ambition. Had James Nguyen staged the entire production as an elaborate joke, he may have been considered a complete genius, but instead, he may now be regarded as one of the single worst directors of all-time. Nguyen puts together the most talentless cast since TROLL 2, and edits their atrocious dialog together using jarring cuts and awkward pauses. He holds on the most trivial shots for absurd amounts of time. What is worse, the audience is forced to suffer through forty-five minutes of painful character development before the birds finally arrive. But then... BIRDEMIC!

The onset of the attack is so sudden and unprovoked it simply boggles the mind. Most of the attacks consist of horrendous computerized birds flapping in place and squawking incessantly, while others simply dive bomb into cars and gas stations and explode for no reason at all. And then, when all seems lost, the birds just leave and its over. Now, this may sound ridiculous enough on paper, but seeing is believing. The action sequences are so unbelievably awful that they make for non-stop entertainment. The problem is that they are so repetitive and so incredibly unskilled that an hour and a half feels like an eternity.

BIRDEMIC single-handedly sets the green movement back twenty years with its failed ecological message, but in doing so, it establishes itself as the newest cult-classic of bad film. James Nguyen's complete incompetence allows for pure, unintentional humor that could never have been written better. As far as B-movies go, BIRDEMIC is a masterpiece.

Rating: 1/10.
Entertainment: 8/10.

Movies like BIRDEMIC:
TROLL 2, THE BIRDS, PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE, MANOS HANDS OF FATE, SHARK ATTACK 3.



8 comments:

  1. I wasn't even entertained!!! Ugh. UGH.

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  2. Saw clips of the Rifftrax version of this on YouTube and laughed my ass off at the special effects failure. My favorite riff: "We're gonna fix this in Post, right?" "What's Post? Keep flailing!"

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  3. Taken in small doses, this may be the single funniest film ever made, but extended exposure is cause for paralysis and temporary blindness!

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  4. Random recommendation: watch this movie while listening to the actor commentary on the DVD. It's amazing.

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  5. I watched on Netflix so I didnt have the luxury one this watch through, but I can't wait to once I get the DVD!

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  6. Yeah, I was less 'impressed' by the movie that I was expecting. The second half is funny as hell, but it is certainly repetitive. It 'makes up for it' with it's ludicrous dialogue and scenarios though.

    If they could make an hour-long cut of the film (forty-five minutes of birds and fifteen-minutes of set-up), then it could work.

    You'd lose scenes like the hero buying solar panels...but I think that we could all live with that loss.

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  7. I actually preferred the opening half to the second, since I had rewatched the bird attacks for hours online before ever seeing the movie. Dialog.. So awful.. So very awful..

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  8. If I can go without watching the first half again (barring Rifftrax), my life will be much better for it.

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