Monday, December 12, 2011

Black Christmas (2006)

The 2006 remake of BLACK CHRISTMAS was doomed to fail from the very beginning, and yet it is surprisingly one of the most entertaining entries the Slasher genre has seen in years! Glen Morgan never attempts to recreate the suspense and mystery of the original, and instead delivers an absurdly hilarious and over-the-top gorefest to bring some holiday cheer to Horror fans. Once again, the Delta Alpha Kappa house is receiving intimidating phone calls on Christmas Eve, the same night when a deranged psychopath killed his family at that very house years earlier. What they don't know is that Billy has escaped from the mental institute and returned home for the holidays! From the very beginning, we are introduced to both villains, which destroys the ambiguity of the original story. In doing so, however, we get to see the makings of these two insane killers in a series of twisted flashbacks. It is no wonder Billy turned into such a model citizen given his pathetic childhood and abusive mother. Back on the loose, he and his inbred daughter wreak terror on the dopey sorority sisters in an eye-popping extravaganza of bloody mayhem! Literally, eye-popping, eye-eating, eye-stabbing... Morgan has found more ways to gouge out people's eyes than anyone ever thought possible! All the while, the onslaught of violence is set to the ironic "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" as one idiot character is mercilessly killed after another. Robert Mann's infuriated performance as Billy earns some great laughs as he sets up the character's building rage, but thankfully the mindless sorority girls are quickly dispatched. A guilty pleasure to be sure, BLACK CHRISTMAS is too much fun to be tossed away with the other garbage Slasher remakes like SORORITY ROW or APRIL FOOL'S DAY.

Rating: 6/10.
Gore: 8/10.

6 comments:

  1. Ok, I'll give you that it isn't as horrible as say the Prom Night remake. But it just got the original's feeling/mood so wrong, I have trouble liking it.

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  2. seriously? dude. this is a 2/10 at the very best, and that's being generous, and that's if i'm drunk. this was a shit film from top to bottom. characters we don't care about, zero plot, terrible backstory, zero characterization, zero scares. come on, man.

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  3. I dont think the makers ever intended for this to be a serious film, much less a film that was going to be better than the original. They went out and made a ridiculous splatter flick which I will defend to my grave as being utterly hilarious. I love the scenes with Billy in the attic, his mannerisms as he scowls and grabs the telescope with "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" are funny as hell, and there is so much awesome eyeball obliteration! I typically hate stupid slashers like Sorority Row, but this one is a blast!

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  4. jervaise brooke hamsterDecember 15, 2011 at 4:01 PM

    I want to bugger Michelle Trachtenberg (as the bird was in 2003 when the bird was 18, not as the bird is now obviously).

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  5. You're not alone, Carl. Kindertrauma just gave it the "so bad it's good" treatment. I guess I gotta give it a look now.

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  6. Laz dont miss this one, I assure you the ridiculous nature of the film makes it completely worth watching! It never tries to drag itself out of the gutter, the gory, eyeball-filled gutter.

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