Monday, January 16, 2012

DeathBed (2002)

A young couple moves into a chic new studio apartment with a dark past that comes back to haunt them after they bring an old antique bed down out of storage. Anyone that would willingly watch a movie called DEATHBED deserves all they have coming to them. Considering this came from the creators of PUPPET MASTER and THE GINGERDEAD MAN, one is immediately overcome with visions of a giant, toothy mattress munching on people, but instead, the film is played entirely straight as a pseudo-Slasher. Watching DEATHBED is like watching a really long, really boring porno where only the dude gets naked and everyone else leaves, unsatisfied. To say that the acting is stale or to complain about the listless directing is really giving the film more time than it deserves. As opposed to most other Full Moon Features that run around sixty-five minutes, DEATHBED clocks in at an astounding eighty minutes of pure garbage. For a film called DEATHBED, there is also a surprising lack of deaths that occur on or around the bed. It is a wonder that Stuart Gordon would allow his name to be attached to the film at all. Rated 'F' for Partial Nudity, Mild Violence, and False Expectations.

Rating: 3/10.

Movies like DEATHBED:
HELLGATE, THE TOOLBOX MURDERS, THE BOOGEY MAN, HELLRAISER, FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE.

3 comments:

  1. Have you ever done 'Death Bed: The Bed That Eats,' Carl? If not, this has to be done soon. If you're going to cover 'Deathbed,' you might as well cover 'Death Bed'...

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  2. Like 98% of the 10 people that watched DEATHBED, I mistook this for DEATH BED, and was sorely disappointed. I still really want to see DEATH BED in all of its glorious surrealism. Is it HOUSE-esque?

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  3. If 'House' was long, drawn-out and silly, yes. The movie is amazingly-pretentious, but a must-see. I just can't guarantee that you'll want to see it again...

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